Helps’ Limericks & Jokes

Summer Nights in Manhattan

Without flinching, she calmly parts her flowing hair, bringing to his attention a pair of glittering diamond earrings.
— Honey, you see these doodads ?
They’re REAL and all paid for by satisfied customers.

By now his curiosity outweighs his budget and his desires - he accepts. They leave the bar together, and, in a sordid alley near the ATM he used for the the hefty monetary withdrawal,
he receives the most FANTASTIC handjob history has ever known.

Weeks laters, he enters the same bar, in a similar mood, but now obsessed with this mysterious woman and her extravagant talents. He recognizes her, now standing by the window, alone but not forgotten. He gathers his courage, approaches her and brusquely speaks:

— I can't help wondering, given your amazing performance the other night, what it would be like to get a... blowjob from a chick like you...

Her heavy eyelids barely lift from her extra-dry martini; her price had long been established, and she quotes it as if she were a lawyer reciting the Constitution:
— That'll cost you $2000, Honey.

He staggers back and exclaims:
WHAT?! Are you kidding?! For a SINGLE blowjob?!